School stress

Hardly any child manages his entire schooling without difficulty. Big and small worries and a lot of school stress pave the way to school graduation. Some children cope well with the demands and simply let problems bounce off them.

Others are more sensitive, take many things personally and suffer from the stumbling blocks of the education system. One thing is clear, our education system is not equally suitable for all children. And there are many different problems that students have to deal with during their school years.

The problems may come to your child

There are plenty of reasons why children can get stress at school. For example, the enrolment date, which insists inflexibly and rigidly on enrolment once a year. For example, the age gap of children in a class can be up to one year. But there are many other problems, e.g.:

10 strong tips against school stress!

No matter what your child goes through, how they perform at school, and which way they go, their parents should always stick to them. Only with the secure support of the family and the feeling of being good as you are can children grow and overcome challenges. School is only a small part of life. It is in some cases groundbreaking, but it does not have to be mandatory. Many successful and happy people have not had a great school career.

1. Show from the beginning that you love your child!

Show love


Without a secure support, no human being, let alone a child, dares to venture out into the wide world. Always signal to your child that nothing can shake your love for him. In particular, disputes, disputes or errors should always be discussed and clarified.

Under no circumstances should you react with deprivation of love if your child writes bad grades or does not perform the performance you want from them.

2. Give your child age-appropriate freedom!

Giving freedom


It is difficult to give the adolescent child more freedom. But small challenges strengthen self-confidence and reduce school stress. Overcoming hurdles, becoming more and more independent and gaining confidence in one’s own abilities – that makes children strong!

  • Let your child stay with friends.
  • Trust him with money for purchases.
  • Include it in your holiday planning.
  • Request help in the household.
  • Let it learn to swim, run, climb and cut.
3. Trust your child to take responsibility!


Strengthen your child’s ability to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. After all, development also means freeing oneself day after day from the dependence of the parents, so that later on an independent life becomes possible.

Your child can and should make decisions for himself – even if they turn out to be wrong. There is a lot to learn from mistakes, and those who cannot make mistakes learn nothing.

4. Don’t be ironic!
Clearly move out


Avoid irony or sarcasm and don’t laugh at your child. The subtle nuances of irony are not yet understandable for many children. They feel excluded and excluded.

Laughter together, on the other hand, is positive and deprives many situations and also of school stress the threat. Start every day with a joke – especially primary school children love jokes and have a positive start to the day.

5. Believe your child!


Children often have different opinions from their parents – not a reason to be annoyed, but a great basis for interesting conversations. Take your child’s opinion seriously, even if you disagree.

In the family, children learn to discuss and argue, but also to reconcile. They learn that there are different views, and that this is not bad. Eat meat or not, travel by plane or not… there is much to discuss.

6. Praise your child honestly!
Honestly praise


Super made! Children of primary school age broke the recognition of their reference persons as soon as they had achieved a real benefit. Through positive feedback, they are motivated and then make even more effort. Beware of excessive praise or the so-called “but” praise.

7. Everyone is allowed to cry!
Allowing feelings


You can’t talk away your child’s feelings, perceived school stress is real. If it is sad or anxious, you should accept it. Don’t tell him it’s different, otherwise he’ll lose touch with his emotions.

8. Show feeling!
Showing your own feelings


Children often feel very well when someone is not honest with them. They have a good antenna for emotional positions. So be honest, because even with unsightly truths, children are often better served than with a well-intentioned lie.

9. Do not slow down your child!
Enduring behaviour


It is very difficult to accompany your own child to his or her performance limits, because parents are too happy to help in difficult situations. From time to time, however, it is necessary to recognize what you can do through more difficult tasks.

Exams in sports or school, the complaint of a broken toy, the self-made piece of music or a difficult craft task become a successful experience if your child has mastered it despite initial concerns. So don’t give up too quickly if your child doesn’t dare to do something of age.

10. Be confident and courageous!
Be a role model


Mum and Dad are the most important role models in a child’s life. Quite unconsciously, children imitate everything their parents do or how they behave. This also applies to courage and self-confidence. When a parent fights back against injustices, the child experiences “lived self-assurance.”

School stress can also be self-made

I have been advising parents and supporting children for many years. Again and again I experience that a large part of the school stress is self-made. Even second- or third-graders put themselves under insane pressure in order to be able to attend the grammar school later. They compare themselves to siblings or friends and quickly feel like they’re not as good as the others. Everything depends on the school, but a person still consists of completely different components.

Curious, animal-loving or sporty

A child can be curious and smart, loving, animal-loving, extremely sporty and very creative, without constantly writing good grades at school. I want parents to broaden the perspective for their child’s future and not always pin them down to school success.

You should trust that there are many skills dormant in your child that have nothing to do with school grades. Perhaps these skills only show up after school, after puberty or during training. And even then there is still a lot of time to have a fulfilling and happy life ahead of you.

The pressure in school is getting more and more massive
School stress, school stress

In recent years, the situation has become even more acute. Due to the ever-increasing demands, through comparative work and competitive thinking, but also through burnt-out teachers and difficult class compositions, the school stress is getting greater and greater.

Some children hardly dare to stay at home in case of illness and to miss lessons especially bad ly not only this is especially bad with class work, which may cause a deterioration of the overall score.

Parents can also be put under increasing pressure here. Instead of giving your child time out to get healthy and not taking the grades so seriously.

They also can’t shake off the pressure to perform and get into school stress, just like their children.

School stress is not uncommon in case of illness

“Paul even went to school last week with a slight fever because he didn’t want to miss the maths work. He doesn’t have to worry at all, because he’s a really good math student.

Nevertheless, he did not dare to let the work fail. No wonder he doesn’t sleep well at night and develops fear of pressure to perform,” complains a mother who is a teacher at a school herself.

As an educator, she finds it a little easier to assess the situation and allow her child a freedom. Other parents who are not so familiar with the processes at school are less relaxed. They often urge their children not to miss classes.

More and more children are mentally conspicuous

Individual children or pupils from socially better-off families (real school or grammar school) in particular are under massive pressure to perform. It is no wonder that around 20 of the German schoolchildren are now considered to be mentally conspicuous.

Everything is subordinated to the idea of performance, and the leisure activities are also supposed to somehow take the child further. Massive school stress develops quickly, with many negative consequences.

Insomnia, psychosomatic ailments, anxiety, depression or panic attacks are not uncommon in children.

School stress spoils the desire to learn

The word school stress is a collective term for a wide variety of problems that can occur from first grade onwards. Bullying, bullying, school anxiety, exam stress or sitting down and hypersensitivity can make life difficult for a child.

What all the reasons for this are that the children affected suffer from the situation. They develop different symptoms such as abdominal pain, headache or nausea and prefer to hide in their bed in the morning. School is simply no longer fun, but massive fear.

Every child has different school stress

Of course, every single problem has to be looked at carefully and then solved carefully. With the help of teachers and classmates, this is usually achieved. But parents can also do something to make their child more confident and not easily intimidated.